Brett Favre Not Done Yet...

HATTIESBURG, MS — After a disappointing run with the New York Jets in 2008, retired quarterback Brett Favre is flirting with the Minnesota Vikings in an attempt to resurrect his once great career of screwing around with the minds of NFL fans and reporters.

Favre underwent shoulder surgery last month, and is expected to let the Vikings know if he plans to return to the NFL by July 30.

In an exclusive off-camera interview with ESPN’s Rachel Nichols, Favre admitted that he still has a need “to scratch the itch of playing mind fucker for Minnesota and all of the people who doubt my ability to mess with their heads about whether or not I really want to play this game anymore.”

“I’ve had a great career as one of the best mind fuckers in the history of the offseason, and I think I still have something left for fans – and myself.”

Speculation began to swirl earlier this summer after Favre reportedly made contact with the Vikings, but mainly after he left the following status update on his newly created Facebook page:

“Brett Favre isn’t sure if he’s finished fucking with everybody during the offseason – yet.”

“He’s one of the all-time greats, and if he wants to—Oh, fuck it. I’m really starting to hate this guy. He’s made my life a living hell the past few summers,” ESPN NFL reporter Chris Mortensen said when asked about the possibility of another Favre return.

When presented with Mortensen’s comments, Favre said, “See, when I see and hear things like that, it makes me feel like I can still do this. That I’ve still got something left in the tank. I’ve always said that I’d walk away when screwing with people wasn’t fun anymore, and damnit it’s still fun for me.”

“One of Brett’s endearing qualities was his kid-like approach to screwing with people, and now he is certainly as big of a pain in the ass as a child who can’t decide what flavor ice cream he wants for dessert,” said Favre’s former coach Mike Holmgren.

At the center of the controversy is Favre’s torn heart and whether or not the 10-time Pro Bowler could still play with the emotions of every NFL fan who has grown to expect his wishy-washy, uncanny ability to be on the fence – a talent which made him the world’s best at unretiring during the offseason.

“Look, I know I’ve broken every record for retiring and unretiring and retiring and unretiring again, but I still feel like I can still do it like I used to, ya know?”

When asked what he will do if he actually decides to retire from unretiring, Favre said he has a host of future plans, which include retiring to a retirement home in Florida within 20 years, then eventually unretiring — only to move back to Mississippi where he will mull his next retirement and run an unretirement center for the elderly.