One Man's Perspective

Some may be wondering why the word taint is in quotation marks above (although I’m almost positive the only people reading this are those who already know me). Anyway, to make a short story even shorter, I was given the nickname Taint freshman year of college, and it stuck. After several years of being referred to as Taint, I have grown to embrace the name. I am still prone to not responding when someone calls me Chris. I am Taint. It’s both a curse (for obvious reasons) and a blessing, because, well, when you’re introduced to someone as Taint, they’re going to remember you…

This is the view from a Taint, designed to inspire and acknowledge that all-too-often ignored and often unclean part of your consciousness.

I hope to not spend too much time ranting on here, but, I would like my initial post to embrace the reason Al Gore invented the Internet. Unfortunately, I’m not licensed to post porn on here, so I’ll just have to settle for some good old complaining (the second most common reason for using the web)…

Some pet peeves of mine:

-“Party Foul!”—Anyone who knows me could see this one coming as my top pet peeve. It is inevitable at any social occasion where alcohol is being served. Someone will spill a portion or all of his or her beverage, and, as if cued by the gods of douche-baggery, some moron will yell “Party Foul!” I get it, you love alcohol so much that if a person spills some, you feel they should spend some time in the penalty box. Yelling party foul was tolerable in high school, but not as an adult. Just like hand jobs.

-Water-boarding—No, I’m not necessarily against the use of simulated drowning to learn valuable information from “enemy combatants.” That is a whole other debate, and Jack Bauer has taught me that sometimes drastic action needs to be taken. My beef is with the actual term “water-boarding.” Torture should not sound like a fun vacation activity.

-“Drink that!”—This one is just overused and no longer funny, yet it happens everywhere. During a game of beer-pong a shot will inadvertently bounce into an empty cup on the table and some genius filled with originality will sarcastically say “drink that or chug it!” These are usually the same individuals prone to yelling “party foul!”

-Bill Plaschke—Anyone who has seen ESPN’s Around The Horn knows what I’m talking about.

-“Remix!”—This one isn’t that much of a problem anymore thanks to the iPod. But, occasionally, someone still living in the dark ages will play a CD, and God help us if that CD skips while being played among a group of people, because someone will yell “Reeemix,” as if they’re in Lil’ Wayne’s posse at that very moment.

-Bloggers—Yep, that’s right. I’m not immune to a little self-loathing. Most members of the blog-o-sphere are self-righteous, over-opinionated douchebags who don’t realize that people don’t care what they have to say. I guess I’m now one of those douchebags.